Since Will was 3 months old we have been getting therapy services through the state program, early intervention. The therapists come to our home and love, nurture and guide William and I throughout these three years. Once a child turns three they are no longer eligible for the state program and the school system takes over.
I will not be there during therapy to support, cheer and encourage him, his teachers and therapists will be there. I will not be the one that is trying to teach him how to communicate and learn new skills, it will be his teachers. I feel as though I am handing them my baby, not a three year old.
Our little cocoon of safety and comfort will be broken open. If I don't tell someone about RTS, they don't know, they don't care. William is just...William. But with school, William is William, William is RTS, William is special ed.
I went to look at the classroom that the teachers and therapists think would be a good fit for William today. I cried. And cried. The ugly cry. In front of people that I don't know! For a long time. I have been putting off going and visiting for over two weeks now and today I felt like I had to do it. I was just overwhelmed and frankly, scared to death. The classroom is a self-contained room, meaning that there are only special kids in the room. All of the students have a one on one aid with them at all times. It seemed to me like a big therapy room. The teachers were sweet and understood my emotion. A teacher took Will and played and showed him around the room while I talked with the head teacher. I feel better about the classroom after having talked to her but I still have fear. It is just a big change and everything is so new.
We did the evaluation process a few weeks ago. Will and I went to the school and a team of therapist and teachers evaluated William on many different skills. The testing took two hours which William did very well with. He charmed them all instantly and all of the ladies went ga-ga over his eyelashes! I cried. And cried. The ugly cry.
We went back to discuss the results of the evaluation. They said that Will (35 months old at the time) scored at the 17 month old level for cognitive development and at 13 months for language development. I cried. And cried. The ugly cry.
We haven't had the IEP (individualized education plan) for him yet, that comes on Thursday. I am afraid that I am going to be a crying sack of emotions and be worthless.
Will is going to be starting school on the 17th of August, only two days after he turns 3. Is there any way that we can just stay in our cocoon?